I’ve been debating this post. Going back and forth in my head about whether or not I should write it… But at the end of the day (literally – I’m writing this at 11:40pm), since it’s been on my heart and mind for a few days I feel it’s important. If for no one other than myself.
Life tends to be made up of a web of people. Some people we are connected with in multiple ways, others are further separated from ourselves… maybe only connected through one event. I hate to say it, but I fear I have more of the latter in my life. I don’t tend to let people in very often… or let people get too close. Some might think of me as a great friend to them, while I consider them merely an acquaintance.
This can cause some issues, unsurprisingly, I’m sure.
One group of such people I met when I was busy regaining my life and putting nutrients back into my deprived body. People tend to want to retain relationships formed in those situations as a way of reminding themselves of where the markers are. So they can have people acting as buoys to remind them of how far it’s safe to shy away from the shore. People who will call them out on their bullshit. I’m fairly well known for doing just that.
Despite the fact that I hate Facebook, I have not deleted my account, because I use it as a log-in on a couple of other sites. Consequently though, I only access FB once every few weeks (if that). My last post? Back in February. Anyway, a friend of mine told me that there was something written in a group we both belong in that I might want to read. A group that is mainly comprised of the type of people I mentioned earlier. People that think I’m a great friend and who use me as a buoy.
This group of women were gossiping about the sexuality of one of my (our) past doctors. They’d been Facebook stalking her (their words) and apparently because another female is in her profile picture that must be “her lady.” Other stuff was said regarding the scandalous nature of this.
My heart sank.
If there’s one thing that gets me to me quite quickly, it’s when someone decides to gossip about someone else’s sexuality. Gossiping about sexuality is like gossiping about hair color. You’re gossiping about something that’s inherent and just is. Nothing worth gossiping about in the least. Add in the fact that I really liked this doctor? It made me angry they would take something that’s personal and turn it into fodder. I know the truth of her sexuality (and have for quite some time – not saying she is or she isn’t) from running into her multiple times in public and have never felt the need to feed this game. Either way (confirming or denying), because (again) it’s something that’s personal and gossiping about it is like gossiping about hair color. Pointless. In some instances, in this case, it can also be cruel. This was certainly being conducted in a negative manner.
What these girls didn’t realize though (oh, but I assure you I shut them down and they deleted all traces of the incident) is that they could just as well have been gossiping about me. Yes, me, this girl that they all seem to think they’re lifelong friends with. This girl they text when they’re having issues. They don’t know my sexuality. They don’t know if I’m gay, straight, bi, etc… I could be.
What does this show?
Sexuality doesn’t make you likable or unlikable, good or bad. Your personality does.